What an amazing, awful, exhausting, educational, love-filled journey we have been on. Feels like one of those thrill rides at Disneyland! Every morning we wake up to new surprises, not all good. I yearn for just one “normal” uneventful day.
Our son Ammon is in the midst of the long and painful process of recovery from brain injury caused by oxygen deprivation during a cardiac arrest while on a mission in Chile. He is only 20. But he doesn’t know that.
We are learning so much!
I am learning that kind people can make the darkest day suddenly sunny. The doorbell can be the sweetest sound as neighbors and friends have dropped by food, lessening my load tremendously. Or flowers, doing their magic of cheer. Or hugs, a tender heart and a listening ear—the best gifts of all.
I am learning that hope is a most precious commodity, and without it, life is bleak indeed. Hope keeps my husband and I trying, keeps us getting up every morning and racing off to yet another doctor appointment, keeps us open-minded and willing to lay down our hard-earned money to try yet another healer, program or supplement to bring our son back to us. Hope jump starts our day. We live off hope.
Hope doesn’t fare well in the presence of asking “why?” So I try not to ask it, although it follows me like a shadow. ”Why not?” is a more appropriate question. Is our time on earth supposed to be a party? Easy and carefree without sore trial? Are we supposed to glide through day after day enjoying without adversity and the resultant growth? Why not? And why not us?
Things can change. God can work miracles! Scientific breakthroughs happen. Healing can take place. Hope is always . . . ever . . . smiling brightly before us.
{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }
I'd sure love to hear your comment!
Dearest Diane: I love you & look forward to your emails & blog & applaud your life. I'm so sorry to hear of this situation and am joining my prayers with yours & others for complete restoration for your son. There is nothing too hard for Jesus, "the same yesterday, today and forever." He's still doing miracles. Our battle is to believe God's Word & envision Ammon completely restored to health. "Beloved I wish above all things that you [Ammon] prosper & be in good health." [III John 2] So healing is God's will, therefore by faith in His word we can start thanking Him for touching, renewing & healing your son every day. And be like Jesus who "judged not after the seeing of his eyes or the hearing of his ears" but only believe the Word.
Diane,
I am uplifted by your attitude and very sorry for the pain in which your son and your family have endured during these past few months. I recently began reading your blog, I started homeschooling my oldest daughter, 7th grade, this past school year. She is the oldest of my 6 children. I homeschooled her this past year because of many changes that occurred in our home due to the sudden loss of my husband a few years ago. She wanted to be homeschooled, not because of the public school system (which I have only had good experiences with) but because of her desire to be close to her mother while she adjusted to the loss of her father. It's a struggle to have our lives changed by events that were not our choice, it takes a while to adjust. I applaude your desire to be positive and express gratitude as that is the best tool to get us through all our trials. I have also recognized that trials give us the opportunity to depend on Our Savior in ways that we might never have before. My trials have deepened and solitified my testimony of the Love of the Savior as I have witnessed the willingness of so many people to help and encourage in times of sadness and struggle. We are truly the Lord's hands as we serve each other. I have also felt the pure warmth of the Love of the Savior as He has buoyed me up when I felt I no longer had the will or energy to continue on, He is my strength and my rock. May the Savior buoy you up with His pure love as you go through this journey you did not plan on. I pray that Ammon will be able to fulfill his mission on this earth in the manner in which the Lord has in store for him…. not all missions occur in the manner in which we think they should occur. Sometimes the most humbling of experiences touches people's hearts far greater than the most idealistic situations ever could. I know, as our families experiences with the death of their father at such a young age has touched the lives of so many people in humbling ways. Life isn't always a pretty picture, but as each layer or color of the picture is added it becomes a beautiful painting, one we can't always envision in the beginning, but appreciate and admire in the end. Then one day, or a little at a time, the sun will fully rise after what has felt like an unending night.
Thank you for sharing your journey, your faith, and your hope. I too am going through some terrible struggles. And have found great hope through the atonement of the saviour, and the hope of better days and things to come. One one particularly hard day, I re-read this talk, and it brought great peace to me.
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-infinite-power-of-hope?lang=eng
The road is long. I wish you all the best.
I too love following your blog, and learning life's lessons through your eyes. Thank you for who you are and what you do for your family.
Dear Diane,
I know that your trial is hard, but do not despair! Do not lose faith or you will lose hope. Keep your faith and you will keep your hope. My family will pray for you wholeheartedly and be sending our love to you. God bless you during this valley and know that there will be another mountain in God's perfect timing. There is always sunshine after every storm.
I just discovered your blog. My heart broke when I read about your son. My son has been out on his mission 5 months. Two months ago he was hit by a car. He had a concussion and some broken bones. I thought that was one of the worst things that could happen, but reading about Ammon I realized that things could be worse. My prayers go to you and your family. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Hi Diane,
While I am not going through the exact same thing as you, I appreciate your willingness to share your story. It takes faith and courage to make it through each day, and sometimes it is hard.
Tina
Dear Diane,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I read your e-mails most of the time but have missed a few here and there so this is the first I've heard about Ammon. I am so sorry. Thank you for inspiring me with your positive attitude and faith. God bless you and your family.
Marsha
Diane, Thank you so much for this blog. It seems you and your family are touching so many lives as you strive to help your great son Ammon. I love the name Ammon. If I were to have another son I would name him Ammon Joseph. Love ya lots. Janice
Diane, I've been wondering how Ammon was doing. Praying for God's best for all of you. I know you get lots of advice but here's one more. Frankinsence oil. It has worked wonders for my learning challenged kids.
Dearest Diane,
Praying for you and for Ammon and for your whole family. I've followed your blog for ages own most of your books, and have been so inspired by you. I'll be praying that God, the source of comfort, will give you peace and comfort and some very good days to keep you going! its so hard to see His plan when the obstacles are so high and deep, but i am certain that His promises are true and i frequently reflect on this passage when i'm contemplating the struggles our family has faced- Romans 8:28
28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.
wishing you love,
Rebecca
Dearest Diane, thank you for updating us. My prayers have been with you, Ammon, and your family continually since Chile. Remember you are yoked wih Christ. I've thought of you often, please know how much you are loved by a nation of mothers who have been touched by your spirit.
Keep going with that song… "and we know that deliverance is nigh. We doubt not the Lord nor His goodness; we've proved him in days that are passed…" Of course, we do not know the Lord's timetable, but we do know that this earth life is just a small blip out of eternity. As with all difficult things, time goes slowly when we struggle. But, you have, quite obviously proved the Lord in days that are passed, and know of his love for you and for Ammon, and for the whole family. May the strength of that knowledge and understanding be a comfort and beacon as you continue on faithfully each day. My family and I are also praying for you!
http://www.lds.org/ensign/2009/01/putting-my-hand-in-the-lords?lang=eng&query=diane+terry
This article was such a comfort to me in the "why" question. I hope it brings comfort to you and your family. Much love during this time of trial
"Ask How, Not Why
I cannot deal with the why of adversity because I have no concrete answers for the whys. But I can speak of how one continues a life that has taken a detour from a self-plotted course.
Asking why is an exercise in frustration because Heavenly Father generally does not answer the whys of our lives here in mortality. Faith in God is not developed by having all the answers. Immediately after Bryan died, my prayers were desperate and pleading. I had always lived a good life, and I felt that I had lived to be blessed, not punished."
Diane,
I have followed your family through many years of homeschooling and feel as if I know them. You have always been such an inspiration to me as a homeschooler, a mother, a wife and a woman. I can always count on you for down to earth advice and uplifting messages. Your hope, and courage through this trial is no less inspiring. The thing that helps me to get through life's trials is to remember that all things are done for our benefit. Sometimes it is so hard to see what that purpose could be but we have that promise. Stay strong, let your faith see you through and know that the prayers of thousands of families whose lives you have touched are with you.
Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
May you always see the Lord's hand in your life.
I've been following your blog for a while and I appreciate your openness and humility. I have been home-schooling for over 23 years and have enjoyed your delightful and joy-filled approach to life and homeschooling. My 10 year old daughter has been baking that bread you shared on your blog last year.She loves it and makes it all by herself and impresses all our guests! I just wanted you to know that our family has kept updated about your son's cardiac arrest in Chile and his recovery. We are praying for him and your family and we can see God's grace shining through you. We will continue to pray for you all. Please continue to keep us updated.
Diane
A Perkl-light has been a great blessing in our lives. I have had my vision restored, and my son has had great healings, whether thyroid, heart, gastro-intestinal or more. My daughter was healed from her gallstones. Our dog had health restored, when she was on deaths door. Please check out "www.Perkl-light.com. It may be of use to you and your family.
Best of all to your family.
Just wanted you to know that you, your family, an Ammon are in my prayers.
God Bless,
Kim
My heart aches for you, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal your son. I know the feeling of forking out untold amounts of money to try and heal a son, and feeling like we are getting no where. It is a trial but it will be your stepping stone to celestial glory. Sometimes there is no other way.
I recieved your update on your son and this newsletter this morning and I thought it might encourage you further. Wishing you the best, and my thoughts and prayers.
Faith
Diane, thank you so much for updating us all. You are truly an inspiration to me. I am not the type of person to "play"–never did as a child. But, your example continues to go through my mind–reminding me that school is not all "work", and to have fun and enjoy my children. I'm not the best at it–by far–but I'm getting better, thanks to you. I am finally using the Happy Phonics program that I bought years ago with my youngest two, and we are having so much fun. My eleven year old is having fun with us, too. Thank you so much for all that you are and may hope continue to smile brightly before you. We love you!
Hello Diane,
I have been a follower of you on my family's homeschool adventure for years. Thank you for being a pioneer. You are a blessing.
My father n law was in a car accident about 10 years ago, was oxygen deprived, and in a coma for weeks. The doctors told my mother n law that he would be a vegetable and to let him go off the ventilator. Thankfully, she felt God hadn't released her for the go ahead and he came out of a coma weeks later. He had to relearn everything from swallowing, walking, talking, and gained slowly recollections of past events as well as present etc. He is a very well known Christian University professor and though he has retired from there, he is driving and doing normal activities today! He had a brain stem injury so he does have short term memory loss but it is miraculous what the brain nerves can regenerate. We are so grateful he is with us. The road IS long but NOTHING can separate us from the Love of God. Your family is in my prayers!
Diane, Big hug! You have such a positive outlook for such a difficult situation. I'm glad you took the time to update us on Ammon's situation.
My oldest daughter had a brain difficulty–processing speed disorder and impaired short term memory. When she was 8, I figured out it wasn't just developmental and started researching. I stumbled across the theory of neuroplasticity. It shows that our brain has the ability to create new neural pathways even in instances where pathways have been destroyed (such as after a stroke or brain surgury) or never developed. It can take time, but it can happen.
After home therapy, My daughter now shows little signs of her disability (5 years later.) There were some rough years in there, but our perseverence paid off.
Oh, Diane!
Your post this morning touched me deeply. Your experience with Ammon is instructive to all of us who are following your journey – I know I am learning lessons I can apply to every challenge I face. Your optimism; your determination to find answers; and your deep and abiding faith are examples to me and give me something to strive to emulate.
Know that you are in my prayers – along with your entire family – and that I love you dearly!
Dear Diane,
Over five years ago our nephew was almost fatally injured in a collision with a semi-truck when his first-born son was 2 weeks old. He didn't even remember who we were for six months. He is much improved after several years but still needed extensive occupational therapy to return to his full-time job as a corrections officer. He can work or he can do his church calling or he can do his dad job. Not all three at the same time. His short-term memory has not really recovered. It is heart-breaking and difficult for us to adjust to his different personality/abilities. Especially his different potential(he was a star football athlete, returned missionary, enthusiastic police officer, etc.). For his wife and parents who assist in helping take care of their children it is a day- to -day approach. Some days are good and some days are bad but it is important to keep hope alive and know that there is a purpose in heaven to all things.
Hi Diane, I have thought of you and your family regularly as well. Thank you so much for sharing updates of Ammon's recovery with us. You are such an example during this challenging time. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
I think of your family often, and wonder how Ammon is. My heart and prayers are with you.