I Want to Homeschool

Question:

I really have a passion for wanting to homeschool our 4 children, however my husband and other family members think it would be better for the children and I would be better off sending them to school. Am I showing respect to my husband by dropping the subject and teaching them what I can when they are out of school for sick days and vacations? How can I get my husband to understand how badly I want to do this?

Answer:

I believe that God inspires us, and if you feel a passion for wanting to homeschool, I think that feeling comes from God and you will be blessed if you follow it. It will take courage, but the results will be amazingly wonderful! I am so thankful—so very, very thankful that I homeschool!

How to convince your husband? Well, it depends on what type of a man he is. If you do the research, read things, find statistics for positive results of homeschooling (such as the fact that many of the National Spelling Bee winners were homeschooled, or that more homeschoolers per capita graduate from college and make more money, etc.), will he listen to reason? If you sincerely express your heartfelt feelings and do all you can to be a good, loving, attentive wife, will he want to honor your feelings and allow you your desire? Study out the best approach and patiently go about it, not trying to rush him, just trying to gently win him over. Discuss his concerns and fears and see if you can find a way to quell them. They are his children, too, and he wants them to have the best opportunity.

There is a lot of negative research that shows how awful public school is. I think mucking in the negative is not the right approach. I would rather emphasize the incredible results of homeschooling, the family unity, the smooth sailing during teen years, the love of learning that is ignited in homeschooled children. There is much that you can focus on that is excellent and uplifting.

“Dropping the subject and then trying to teach them when they are out of school for sick days and vacations” does not seem like a good way to honor your husband. It seems like a good way to make your children resent the fact that they have to go to school, plus spend their “time off” in school too! You will bring honor to your husband when your children grow upright, educated and respectful through your diligent teaching and mothering.

How to convince family members? I don’t think there is a need. Please God and be true to yourself. That is all anyone can do. You will never make everyone happy. Besides, even the most critical family members cannot ignore good results, and as your children grow into educated, sensitive, caring, good citizens, some of those critics will become your loyal supporters. The best way I have found to deal with family criticism is just to carry on, be loving with them, and debate it as little as possible. Understand that they care, and just want the best for you, and mean well. They speak out of love, generally. So take their remarks as if they had expressed love, and don’t discuss homeschooling pros and cons with them. Set your own boundary of self-respect—not allowing them to delve into the whys and wherefores. You won’t convince them with words, but “the proof is in the pudding” and when they see your children changing, becoming more mannerly, more respectful, and excited about learning, you won’t have to try to convince anyone.

And, above all, pray! There is a lot of power in consistent prayer.

I want to tell you about my friend. Her husband was dead set against homeschooling, and she yearned to do it so much. She left homeschooling articles on the coffee table. She dropped hints. She pleaded and begged. She cried. She was silent. She tried to do summer school and Christmas vacation school with her kids. Finally, she and I decided to pray every day consistently about softening her husband’s heart. She also determined to fast once a week asking God to touch her husband. Her husband did not know why she was fasting, nor did he know about our prayers. After 3 weeks, her husband was sitting in the living room reading the newspaper one evening while she fixed dinner. Suddenly, he folded the newspaper and said, “Okay, just go ahead and homeschool!”. He said it in a rather irritated tone, as if his conscience had been nagging him. She didn’t care what tone of voice he used—she was just thrilled to have his permission!

Be persistent in your prayers, and prepare yourself to homeschool. Get your school area set up, gather your books and supplies, decorate a bulletin board or a space on the wall. Make school look very fun!  If you intend to teach a science unit on lizards, decorate with a toy lizard and some pictures. Get library books on lizards and let the kids look through them. Go forth getting ready with enthusiasm. If your husband asks about it, say you are exercising faith. Put trust in the fact hat God loves you and your husband loves you and they both want you to have the desire of your heart. Be upbeat and positive about it. It is hard to stop a happy, energetic attempt at doing good.

Best success!

 

May I recommend:

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Husband Won’t Let Me Homeschool

Daniel

Daniel

Question:

I am desperate to homeschool my child. I really think it is something God is telling me to do but my husband will not give me his permission. I just know that I could do a good job homeschooling if he would just give me a chance.

Answer:

Oh, I sure sympathize! It is so difficult when you know something would be best for your child, and your husband doesn’t see eye to eye.

Is he a reader? There is lots of great info out there on the negative effects of public school. John Taylor Gatto wrote a paper called “The Seven Lesson Schoolteacher”. Do a search and you’ll find it on the internet. It is very descriptive of the reasons why it does not work well. I also like the book  None Dare Call it Education. Here is the description:

Even if you are homeschooling your children, the large majority of all American children will receive a public school education. That means our future communities and nation will be made up of doctors, teachers, businessmen and politicians who have been trained by the public school system. Considering the current unpopularity of Christian values, this is a frightening thing to ponder! This thought provoking book has been thoroughly researched and overflows with quotes and documented information from textbooks, from the media, from the schools themselves concerning an evil agenda for our children. None Dare Call it Education explains why our once great public school system now graduates students who cannot read, write or calculate. “It is must reading for all parents” says Phyllis Schafley of Eagle Forum. If you need a reason to homeschool or want to help your spouse or relatives understand, take a good look at this book. Paperback pocket book, 266 pages, adult reading.

Have you tried the “as if” principle? Acting “as if” things are just the way you want them to be? One gal wanted to homeschool and she just came and introduced herself and began coming to all the activities and got to know us all well and even got permission to take her child out of school for some of the best field trips. Her husband came to our homeschool choir performance to hear his child sing, and he met other fathers and saw the families and saw that the children were good and respectful and different from the normal public school performances he’d attended. Pretty soon, we were her friends and support system and she was very involved with the homeschoolers and when the first hiccup in school came, the husband allowed her to take her child out and homeschool for that year. He wasn’t highly supportive, but he did allow it and she enjoyed homeschooling very much! And taught us all a lesson in appreciation!

Prayer helps too, a lot. One of my friends, years ago, wanted to homeschool so much! She had a large family and lived in a liberal state, and did not like the effects of public school that she was seeing on her older children. She was a religious person and wanted her children to pick up her values. She was such a good wife, that I was amazed! She never talked poorly of her husband, stubborn as he was. She talked to me about what she could do to persuade him. She tried giving him reading material, to no avail. She tried most everything. Finally she decided to pray consistently on the subject. Months went by when she came to me and asked what I thought. She came up with the idea of fasting regularly for him to change his mind, convinced that if she added fasting to her praying, how could God not hear her and soften his heart?! So I agreed to fast with her on that day, regularly, as it came round. Only a few of these fasting days had past when she phoned me excitedly. Her husband had been sitting quietly in the living room reading the newspaper when suddenly he stood up, stomped into the kitchen, and announced, “Okay, then, just homeschool if you want to so bad!”. Ha! We laughed (and cried) a bit. Apparently, the promptings from God to this husband in behalf of his wife’s heartfelt desires became too “loud” to resist! She was able to enjoy homeschooling for a brief period, but it did remind us both that God can do what we cannot.

What doesn’t help is crying, nagging, frowning, arguing . . . . although we all wish it would!

I hope and pray your husband will have a change of heart. Homeschooling is a delight that I wouldn’t want anyone to miss!

 

May I recommend:

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Shouldn’t You Be in School?

homeschooling-Louisa and Ammon

Question:

What do I say to people who ask my kids, “Shouldn’t you be in school?” What do I answer my neighbors, friends, and my own mother? I’m ill-prepared for the confrontation or even accusations that may come from some people, thinking me negligent for not sending my children to public school. How do I answer a stranger or a neighbor who might not really understand…or care? Or do I even bother trying?

Answer:

The question will certainly come to you as you are out and about with kids during the school day. Know that your children will soak up your attitude. I try never to conceal the fact that I homeschool from anyone if I am asked, from the librarian to the store clerk. I answer questions and follow it up with how blessed we feel! I am on my own one-person campaign to change the world’s perspective of homeschoolers!

When someone asks my kids why they aren’t in school, I jump in and answer for them (as I think it is unfair for others to impose their prejudice on my children) and I say, “We are so lucky because we homeschool, and have so much fun together! We love it and are learning so much!” and the kids look up and smile. Or, I say, “We homeschool and I feel so happy to be with my best friends learning—they are so smart! And they teach me so much!” As my children have grown, I hear them answering in a similar way to those awkward questions, and expressing their enjoyment of being homeschooled. It is really hard for people to have a hurtful comeback to that kind of confidence and enthusiasm. Attitude really is everything! Best success!

 

May I recommend:

ammonkaren
Family Acceptance

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I Want to Homeschool

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Public School or Homeschool?

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